Reverse Culture Shock!!

I don‘t know how many of you - my faithful readers - have ever travelled overseas and spent some time living in a developing nation, but I suspect some of you that have can relate to what I am about to write. When preparing for an adventure that I have just returned from much time and effort is spent into learning what to expect when you land and get your first exposure. You talk for hours about culture customs, languages, food, greetings and relationship styles. You can even go as far as I did and read books specifically on cross culture living. So when you finally arrive in this foreign country you kind of have an idea of how things work.

But one thing that doesn‘t get addressed as much is what to expect when you return home! You may think this is the easy part of the trip, but ask many long term travelers and overseas missionaries and you‘ll hear the same thing, its not “Home Sweet Home“ like in the movies. After adapting to a new country and their way of living your body forgets what was normal for you a few months back. I know 3 months isn‘t a long time to you but when you focus and prepare so much to adjust your lifestyle it is easy to forget how it used to be.

It‘s hard to explain in words just what I mean by this so let me use some stories and examples to put my thoughts into your head. The most obvious thing I noticed when returning back to the west was the fact that I am no longer a minority. I became so used to being the only white person around that when I saw another one outside our team I would get excited and what to go talk to them. So once I was back in Switzerland and living in the community here on the YWAM base I was very overwhelmed by all the Buzungus (white people) that I had to go find my buddies Pappy and Moses (from the D.O.C. and Nigeria) and eat dinner with them.

Another instant where I noticed change was on the flight from Nairobi to Zurich. I had a seat beside a little African Swiss girl and her mother, I had no trouble starting a conversation with them and getting the little girl laughing. Because of the night flight the little girl eventually feel asleep with her head on her moms lap and her feet stretched out on mine. Without thinking I just slipped a pillow under her feet and continued working on the letter I was writing. Sometime later the mother noticed her daughter sprawled out and invading my personal space. I made the motion that it was alright and not to worry. I could see in her face she didn‘t know how to react. Just before we landed I took a minute to explain that I was a missionary and had spent the last 3 months in Africa working with street kids and Orphans. At that moment I realized how comfortable I was with little African kids coming to me for affection, and how normal it was just to respond to them in love and give them attention even just for a few minutes. Thank goodness this mother was born in African culture and not some housewife from California. Because by western standers you don‘t let you young child fall asleep on a strangers lap. So moral of the story is remember you can‘t treat every kid like the ones from Rwanda.

Apart from hot showers, laundry machines, and dishwashers one other thing that I‘ve been seeing in with new eyes is how many screens we have in our life. Everywhere I go it seems I am staring at either a computer (like right now), T.V., Ipod, or alarm clock! I just spent the last hour outside writing a rough draft of this with pen and paper just to get away from it. I realize this is a can of worms but I want to scratch the surface just to get some reactions. So without trying to sound like an anti-technology zealot who lives in the forest and never gets visitors how much good is all of this txting, messaging, skyping, and e-mailing actually doing for our relationships. In todays day and age we have the ability to be in constant contact with everyone we know at all times! Is this really helping us be better friends and more socially capatible, or are we just shooting ourselves in the foot and becoming dependent on a mediator for our communication. I am searching for some kind of balance here, and after spending 3 months on the other side of the spectrum I don‘t think complete withdrawal is the answer. But could it help us a little to focus more on one person at a time and spend some quality time with them face to face. I am as guilty as anyone but who else feels like after chatting with someone on facebook you feel like your relationship is growing? Minus a few exceptions I still crave the real things, all these methods of communication are just a tease when it come to being in the same room at the same time and looking that person in the eyes.

Thats all I really wanted to say about that, and don‘t get me wrong I am so very grateful that I have the ability to share my stories and photos with you online but are we getting a little carried away sometimes?